The secret to getting my wife to be less inhibited had more to do with me than her. It wasn’t until I started listening to what she wanted from me outside the bedroom that changes happened inside the bedroom. I needed to show that I loved her by talking to her and treating her as my equal in all aspects of life. Once she became secure and felt deeply loved by me, all her inhibitions disappeared. Damn, I wish I had figured that out sooner.

Danny G, 58, accountant, husband for 24 years


It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Dream, in


Well, there was this doggy. He was a very clever doggy. He said things like...like...”I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.” He said that. I only remembered it. In my head.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Delirium, in The Kindly Ones


“The Devil made me do it.” I have never made one of them do anything.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Lucifer, in Season of Mists


Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Dream, in Dream Country


You are mortal: it is the mortal way. You attend the funeral, you bid the dead farewell. You grieve. Then you continue with your life. And at times the fact of her absence will hit you like a blow to the chest, and you will weep. But this will happen less and less as time goes on. She is dead. You are alive. So live.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Dream in


I know how gods begin, Roger. We start as dreams. Then we walk out of dreams into the land. We are worshiped and loved, and take power to ourselves. And then one day there’s no one left to worship us. And in the end, each little god and goddess takes its last journey back into dreams, and what comes after, not even we know. I’m going to dance now, I’m afraid.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Ishtar, in Brief Lives


You say that dreams have no power here? Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar... Ask yourselves, all of you... What power would Hell have if those imprisoned here were not able to dream of Heaven?

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Dream in A Hope in Hell


Nobody’s creepy from the inside, Hazel. Some of them are sad, and some of them hurt, and some of them think they’re the only real thing in the whole world. But they’re not creepy.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Death, in The Wake


...The price of getting what you want, is getting what once you wanted.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Dream, in Dream Country


We of the Endless are the servants of the living -- We are not their masters. We exist because they know, deep in their hearts, that we exist.

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Dream, in The Doll’s House


You get what anyone gets; you get a lifetime...

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Death, in Brief Lives


When the first living thing existed, I was there waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished. I’ll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights, and lock the universe behind me as I leave...

Neil Gaiman, spoken by Death in


I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mr. Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in the War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm and that thousand of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in a impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.
Neil Gaiman American Gods


In all life one should comfort the afflicted, but verily, also, one should afflict the comfortable, and especially when they are comfortably, contentedly, even happily wrong.

John Kenneth Galbraith (b. 1908) Canadian-American economist, diplomat, author London Guardian (28 July 1989)


The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.


I have learned through bitter experience the one supreme lesson: to conserve my anger, and, as heat conserved is transmitted into energy, even so our anger controlled can be transmitted into a power which can move the world.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi]


A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi]


When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it... always.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi]


I think it would be a good idea.
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi]

when asked what he thought of Western civilization


My non-violence does not admit of running away from danger and leaving dear ones unprotected. Between violence and cowardly flight, I can only prefer violence to cowardice. I can no more preach non-violence to a coward than I can tempt a blind man to enjoy healthy scenes. ... Nonviolence is infinitely superior to violence. But the message of nonviolence is for those who know how to die, not for those who are afraid of death. If one has not that courage, I want him to cultivate the art of killing and being killed, rather than in a cowardly manner to flee from danger.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi]


He who cannot protect himself or his nearest and dearest or their honor by non-violently facing death, may and ought to do so by violently dealing with the oppressor. He who can do neither of the two is a burden.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi]


In matters of conscience, the law of majority has no place.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi]


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi]


First, they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher and nationalist [b. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi] Attributed


It is said that for money you can have everything, but you cannot. You can buy food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; knowledge but not wisdom; glitter, but not beauty; fun, but not joy; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not faithfulness; leisure, but not peace. You can have the husk of everything for money, but not the kernel.

Arne Garborg


The chief prerequisite for an escort is to have a flexible conscience and an inflexible politeness.

Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington (1789-1849) English socialite, writer


No doubt the world is, among other things, a vale of tears. It is full of absurdities that cannot be explained, evils that cannot be countenanced, injustices that cannot be excused. Our conscious processes-the part of us that is saturated with words and ideas-may arrive at exceedingly gloomy appraisals. But an older, more deeply rooted, biologically and spiritually stubborn part of us continues to say yes to striving, yes to life.

John W. Gardener


Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, sings.

Ed Gardner


A painting is never finished — it simply stops in interesting places.

Paul Gauguin (1848-1903) French Painter


The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?


To achieve harmony in bad taste is the height of elegance.

Jean Genet


The clinching proof of my reasoning is that I will cut anyone who argues further into dog meat.

Sir Geoffrey de Tourneville (fl. 14th C) Norman knight (c. AD 1350)


   PRES. MUFFLEY: You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!

Peter George (1924-1996) British writer Doctor Strangelove, with Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern (1964)


If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.

J. Paul Getty (1892-1976)


Keep me from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh, and the greatness which does not bow before children.

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Syrian poet


You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Syrian poet Sand and Foam


And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Syrian poet


Should we all confess our sins to one another, we would all laugh at one another for our lack of originality.

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Syrian poet


Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Syrian poet The Prophet, On Love


You may give them [your children] your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Syrian poet


All humans are unique. Each of us has his or her own blend of abilities, deficits, and moral strengths. To say we are equal is degrading, as if we were no more than mass produced machines, interchangeable parts.
Carolyn Gilman, Halfway Human


I got up on the morning of the 12th. It wasn't much sleep, maybe it was 45 minutes. And I got up to actually watch the sun come up, to make sure it came up.

When I saw it come up, I had this great feeling of strength . . . Now we've got to fight back.
Rudy Giuliani, Mayor of New York at the time of the September 11 attack


You can't waste time and you can't save time; you can only choose what you do at any given moment.

James Gleick (contemp.) American writer, journalist


When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them.

John Glenn (b. 1921) American politician and astronaut


I don't know what you could say about a day in which you have seen four beautiful sunsets

John Glenn (b. 1921) American politician and astronaut


Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, statesman, scientist


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, statesman, scientist


Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, statesman, scientist


There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, statesman, scientist


Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, statesman, scientist Maxims


You don't need to be "straight" to fight and die for your country. You just need to shoot straight.

Barry Goldwater (1909-1998) American politician Washington Post, opinion piece (1993)


I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.

Samuel Goldwyn (1882-1974) American film producer


Today I begin to realize what love must be, if it exists. For when we are parted we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are like a book in two volumes, of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.
Jules and Edmond De Goncourt


Mankind is safer when men seek pleasure than when they seek the power and the glory.
Geoffrey Gorer


It is always disagreeable when a person we consider inferior likes or loathes the some things we do, thereby becoming our equal.

Maxim Gorky


If you consider the contribution of plumbing to human life, the other sciences fade into insignificance.

James Gorman (contemp.)


The unblemished ideal exists only in happily-ever-after fairy tales. Ruth likes to say, “If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.” The sooner we accept that as a fact of life, the better we will be able to adjust to each other and enjoy togetherness. “Happily incompatible” is a good adjustment.

Billy Graham, “Just As I Am”


Great dancers are not great because of their technique; they’re great because of their passion.

Martha Graham


No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.
Martha Graham


We listen to others to discover what we ourselves believe.
George Grant


A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.

Gian Vincenzo Gravina

Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.

David Grayson


Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat-watching is a near perfect method of writing-avoidance.
Dan Greenburg


It gets annoying when all I hear some people saying is ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ and I’m like: what, for a Klondike bar?

Arjuna Greist


When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.

Matt Groening (b. 1954) American cartoonist Life in Hell, "Basic Sex Facts for Today's Youngfolk"


You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, "What's in it for me?"
Lewis Grizzard


Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Lewis Grizzard


Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

Matt Groening, Life in Hell


The two major political parties can be summed up this way: There are two parties, one is the Stupid Party and the other is the Evil Party. Occasionally these two parties create legislation that is both stupid and evil. This is called bipartisanship.

Andrew Grooms


Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Che Guevara (1928-1967) Argentine revolutionary [b. Ernesto Guevara da la Serna]


Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea.

John Gunther (1901-1970) American journalist


If a sufficient number of people who wanted to stop war really did gather together, they would first of all begin by making war upon those who disagreed with them. And it is still more certain that they would make war on people who also want to stop wars but in another way.

Georges Ivanovitch Gurdjieff (1873-1949) Russian teacher, writer


With all the crap I have to put up with, I've stockpiled enough Karma to be Queen of the World in my next life.

Adrienne E. Gusoff (contemp.) American humorist, greeting card writer


Grandma always admonished me to be a "good girl." "Why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free?" she'd ask. And I'd remind her that once he owns the cow, he can turn her into hamburger.

Adrienne E. Gusoff (contemp.) American humorist, greeting card writer


UNIX was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that would also stop you from doing clever things.

Doug A. Gwyn (contemp.) American computer scientist